The Mouse

Story :

Once there was a little mouse named Lucy. She lived in the meadow with her mother and father, and her little brother Harvey. She and Harvey got along very well. They played in the fields, went swimming in the summer, climbed trees, and even had tea parties together.


Lucy thought that Harvey was just about the most perfect brother she could have, except for one thing…her had a way of sneaking up on her when she just wasn't expecting it. Why only this morning he had startled her so badly that she had spilled her juice all over the table. Mother had been upset and so had she. In fact, she had been so upset it had given her hiccups and now she couldn't get rid of them!

She had tried drinking water, and holding her breath but the Hiccups just wouldn't go away. No matter how hard she tried to get rid of them every few seconds a giant HIC-CUP would burst out of her little self. Maybe my friends will know what to do, she thought.


First she went to Skunk's house. "Hello -HIC- Skunk" she said. "Hello. How are you today?" Skunk replied. "I'm -HIC- fine" said Lucy "but -HIC- I have -HIC- the hiccups -HIC- and I can't get -HIC- rid of them!" " I noticed" said Skunk "Perhaps if you stand on your head the Hiccups will fall out" she suggested. "That's what I always do and it works great for me. Toodle Loo!" and she dashed off without another word.

So Lucy stood on her head and waited for a very long time. It was very difficult because with every Hiccup she would lose her balance and have to start all over again. While she was doing this Frog hopped up.


"What are you doing Lucy?" he asked. Lucy started to tell him but suddenly a really huge Hiccup came out, and Frog said "Oh my, it seems standing on your head has given you the Hiccups. You should try hopping on one foot while patting your tummy" he offered helpfully. "Thank -HIC- you" she said, but when she looked up Frog had already hopped off towards the pond.


Hopping on one foot and patting her tummy sounded silly to Lucy but the Hiccups were getting worse and she was willing to try anything if it would make them go away. But no matter how hard she hopped and patted, the Hiccups wouldn't go away.

"Oh no!" she said as she began to walk home. "Perhaps I will have Hiccups for the rest of my life. I will be known as the Hiccup Mouse. Maybe I will never be able to go into the library again, the Librarian will surely tell me I am too noisy to be there! And I can forget about ever playing Hide-n-Seek, because everyone will find me!" By now, she was so busy feeling miserable that she hardly noticed where she was going.


Just then Harvey jumped out of the berry bushes beside the path holding a large, juicy berry. "Lucy look what I found!" he exclaimed. But Lucy was tired of being surprised by her little brother and she'd had enough. "Harvey, how many times have I told you not to…" she started to say. Then she stopped and a huge smile spread across her face.


She realized that her Hiccups were gone! Harvey had surprised her so much that the Hiccups had disappeared. "Oh, Harvey" she said and then she threw her arms around him and gave him a gigantic hug. "Thank you! You cured me of those horrible Hiccups!" she cried. Then she and Harvey went off to share that delicious berry.

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The Rabbit...

Story :

One day Rabbit was taking a walk through the jungle and ran into Elephant, who was making a fine meal of the treetops. "Hello, brother," said Rabbit. "Fine day, isn't it?" Elephant paused to look down at the tiny little creature at his feet and snorted. "Leave me be, Rabbit. I don't have the time to waste on someone so small."
Rabbit was shocked to be talked to in such a manner. He wasn't sure what to do so he left quietly to go and think about what had happened. As he walked along, he spied mighty Whale far out to sea and decided to ask her what she thought about Elephant's rudeness. He cupped his tiny paws and yelled as loud as he could, "Whaaaaale!! Come heeeeere!!"

Whale swam over to see who was calling her and looked about. After a few minutes she spied tiny little Rabbit jumping up and down on a cliff. "Rabbit," Whale said impatiently, "Did you just call me over here?" "Of course," said Rabbit. "Just who do you think you are? You are far too small and weak to have anything to say to me." And at that she turned, flipped her huge tail, and set off back into the deep ocean. But just then Rabbit had an idea.

He called out to her one more time, "Whale! You think that I am weak, but in fact, I am stronger than you! You wouldn't be so quick to ignore me if I beat you at Tug-of-War." Whale looked at him for a moment before falling into a fit of laughter. "Very well little one," said Whale. "Go get a rope and we will see who is stronger."

Rabbit ran off to gather up the strongest and thickest vine he could. When he found it, he went to Elephant and said to the giant animal, "Elephant, you had no cause to treat me with such discourtesy this afternoon. I shall have to prove to you that we are equals. Elephant looked down between chews and chuckled. "And how will you do that, small one?" Rabbit stood up as high as he could, looked Elephant right in the eye and said, "By beating you at a game of Tug-of-War." Elephant laughed so hard he nearly choked on his leaves, but agreed to humor the tiny animal. He tied the vine around his huge, hefty waist, snickering the whole time.

Rabbit took the other end and started off into the jungle. He called back to Elephant, "Wait until I say 'pull' and then pull with all of your might." Rabbit took the other end of the rope to Whale and said, "Tie this to your tail and when I say `pull' you swim with all of your might." Whale tied the vine to her tail, all the while smirking at Rabbit's foolishness.

"I will now go and tie the other end to my own waist," said Rabbit, and hopped off into the jungle. Rabbit hid in the bushes and then called out, at the top of his lungs, "PULL!!" Elephant started to walk away with a smile on his face, but the smile soon turned to a look of surprise when the vine stopped following him. "My goodness," he said to himself, "Rabbit is much stronger than I expected!" The look of surprise soon became a frown as Elephant pulled harder and harder, unable to make the tough vine budge any further.

Meanwhile, Whale began to swim away from the shore, but almost lost her breath when the vine pulled tight and refused to come with her. She pulled harder and harder, but she could not pull it any further. "That little Rabbit could not possibly be stronger than me," she said in outrage. Soon the vine could take no more strain and, with an ear-splitting sound, snapped into two pieces.

When this happened, poor Elephant went sailing through the jungle and tumbled head over heels down a steep valley. The end that was tied to Whale caught up to her suddenly and she went sailing through the ocean and smashed into a very scratchy and very uncomfortable coral reef.

Rabbit left without a word and never mentioned the matter again. Elephant and Whale were completely confused and never did figure out how such a tiny creature as Rabbit could have beaten the largest of the animals. And to this day, they are very careful to greet little Rabbit with great respect whenever they meet.

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Kielbasa

Story :

One day the Brown family was sitting in their home when all of the sudden Mrs. Brown heard a kittens meow. Now there was a big storm outside so that kitten must of been afraid. Nothing became of that incident that night though. The next day Mrs. Brown's children saw the kitten roam around the street. He actually lived in there yard!

All the children got together to catch the cat and give him a home. The kitten was so fast they couldn't get any where near the stray kitten. The kids got there friends together and their friends had no more speed then the Brown children had. They soon cornered the fuzzy kitten but it jumped in to a near by tree! Oh no the children thought.

How could they ever get him out of the tree? At dinner Bobby; Mrs. Makely's son was eating his Kielbasa when it came to him. He knew just what to do. He'd use Kielbasa to get the cat from the tree to the house! The next day after school he took some left over Kielbasa out of the freezer and cooked it up. Next he put it on a fancy silver platter.

When he was done he shouted "wala, the kittens dinner looks delish!" He then went outside and saw a dog coming toward the tree where the cat sat. The cat jumped off and ran! Then Bobby got his other siblings and his friends from across the street. The dog was gone by the time they got there but the cat was no where to be found.

They searched and searched all over until they came to a bed of pine needles under a pine tree. There was an unusual bump of pine needles. Then they saw a kitten jump out and stand there look at them. Bobby ran and got the platter or Kielbasa. He returned with the silver platter in a flash!

The cat followed Bobby all the way to the house! Then Bobby put the platter in the house. The cat went in to the house and ate the whole meal. The children went in to hug the cat but it ran under the freezer!!! When he finally came out from hiding Mrs.Brown picked him up and held him in the palm of her hand.

The kitten purred lovingly. "I know what we'll call him!" Shouted Bobby. "What?" Asked Mrs.Brown. "Kielbasa" He announced happily.

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Two Blind Pilots - Funny Story

Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into t heir magazines, secure in the knowledge that the pl ane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,"ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

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Special Occasions - Really Funny

This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me because I wasn't quite four years old when it happened. My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her first mistake). One day I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions. Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. You guessed it! When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge. My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!

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Need Water!

An traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, then he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out. The parched wanderer asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?" The man replied "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes." The desperate man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!" "OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 5 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want." The man thanked the peddler and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight. Three hours later he returned. The man at the card table asked, "I told you, about 5 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?" "I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

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Trouble Selling A Car...

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

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The Americans and Russians - Funny Story

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After five years they came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Russian dog. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage and slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of it's cage and charged the American dachshund. But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened it's mouth and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog. The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves." "That's nothing", an American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."

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Mrs.O'Donovan's Funny Story

Mrs.O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father Rafferty. "Hello," said the Father, "and how is Mrs.O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?" She replied "That you did Father." The priest asked, "And are there any little ones yet?" "No, not yet Father," said she. "Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you." "Thank you, Father." And away she went. A few years later they met again. "Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?" "Oh, very well," said she. "And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?" "Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles -- ten in all." "Now isn't that wonderful," he said "And how is your lovely husband?" "Oh," she said, "he's gone to Rome. To blow out the damn candle!

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IT Complain - Funny letter

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy:

Dear Tech Support ,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a
distinct slowdown in the overall
system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery
applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
programs such as NEWS 5.0,
MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes
the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,


__________________________________________________________________________________

Reply

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download
Tears 6.2 and do not forget to
install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewellery
2.0 and Flowers 3.5..
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or
Beer 6.1 .

Please note that Beer 6..1 is a very bad program that will download
the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
1.0 (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0
program. These are unsupported
applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and
performance.

We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

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The Corporate Culture: The Donkey and The Dog

The Donkey and the Dog- Read and think-You may find one in your midst

There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep too but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson.

The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly.

Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"

Now take a new look at the same story...

The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night.. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet.
The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dog's duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed "ME" (Met Expectations) .

Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around.

The donkey was rated as " star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards.
Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a NEW JOB ...

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The Success of Marriage - Funny Story

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.
They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "


Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:

"We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.

Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.

Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead!!

I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?".

She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."

Husband:"That's it. We are happy ever after ";-)

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Dress Code in office - Funny Office

EFFECTIVE November 01, 2011


NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

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Shave The Beard - Funny Story

A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day, when she requested that he shave his beard.

"Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!"

"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again in a sexy little voice.

"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"

The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.

That night, James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

The wife woke up somewhat, felt his face, and replied "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"

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My Dad Scribbles

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And, it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

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Relation Ship

I married a widow who had a grown-up daughter. My father, who visited us quite often, fell in love with my stepdaughter and married her. Hence, my father became my son-in-law, and my stepdaughter became my mother. Some months later, my wife gave birth to a son, who became the brother-in-law of my father as well as my uncle. The wife of my father, that is my stepdaughter, also had a son. Thereby, I got a brother and at the same time a grandson. My wife is my grandmother, since she is my mother’s mother. Hence, I am my wife’s husband and at the same time her step-grandson, in other words, I am my own grandfather.

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MALAYALEE KUTTAPPAN

Here is the story of Kuttappan the Great!

He is a Malayali working for a multinational company in Mumbai.Not
well educated and he is working as a peon.

This Kuttappan has a problem. If he hears somebody talk he will come in between saying, that I know that very well, I know him very well... like that.

One day Kuttappan's Boss a foreign educated person, a North Indian, he was talking something about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kuttappan was passing thru that way, suddenly he came in between saying that oh Arni he is my best friend.

Kuttapan's boss laughed at him saying that how can u be a friend of Arnold Schwarzenegger you are only a peon living in India .Kuttappan said if u wont believe its your problem, I cant help you.

Ok.The Manager said I am going on a trip to US next week you come as my assistant and we will go to Arnold 's house and see what happens. Kuttappan agreed with a smile.

At Clinton 's home Clinton also did the same as Schwarzenegger, asking that where were you my friend for long time? Kuttappan went to have tea with Clinton while the boss was sitting out side the gate When Kuttappan came back, boss said I have to go to Vatican to get blessings from Pope John Paul, so u come with me.

At the Vatican crowd from all over the world is waiting to see Pope John Paul. Kuttappan and his boss are also there. Boss asked Kuttappan, do you know Pope John Paul. Kuttappan said why not? Boss told Kuttappan that he will not believe this. Kuttappan asked boss to wait for some time and went inside the crowd.

After 15 minutes Kuttappan came on the balcony along with Pope John Paul. Pope John Paul was holding Kuttappan's hand. Kuttappan's boss became unconscious and fell down. When Kuttappan came back his boss was on a stretcher with nurses and paramedics at his
side.

Kuttappan asked, Sir what happened to you.
Then boss told; Kuttappa u know Arnold I believe, u know Clinton I
believe and u know Pope John Paul I believe that too. But......... .

WHEN U CAME WITH THE POPE AT THE BALCONY THE CROWD WERE ASKING WHO IS HOLDING THE HAND OF KUTTAPPAN after hearing that I became unconscious.

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how can 1 student pass - Funny Stuff

How Can A Student Pass ???
**************************

It's not the fault of the school students if they fail, because the year has
only 365 days. Typical academic year for a dull student.

1. Sundays- 52 Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance 313 days.

2. Summer holidays- 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance
263 days.

3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 122 days. Balance 141 days.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means >15 days. Balance 126
days.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chew properly & eat) means
30 days. Balance 96 days.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)means 15 days.
Balance 81 days.

7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days. Balance 46 days.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)40 days.
Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness atleast 3 days. Balance 3 days.

10. Movies and functions atleast 2 days. (Entertainment is a must)
Balance 1 day.

11. That 1 day is birthday of the student.

"HOW CAN A STUDENT PASS...?"

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Wonderful 1 minute - Funny Story

Wonderful one minute...

One smart Software engineer and his Project Manager were traveling
towards Pune in a train.
Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her
grand ma.
With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our Software
engineer & that girl.

After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very
dark.
Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has
kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she
immediately slapped that guy."

PM thought that," I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl!
But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

That girl thought that," I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I
feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".

Finally, the Software engineer thought?

"This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes...because, at
a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM."

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Catch a Rabbit - Funny Story

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

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